I’ve attended four colleges and five grade schools in my life. I hold three degrees, a B.S. News/Editorial (read Bullshnikes) and a B.A. Anthropology (baaaaa says the sheep). Twenty-three years later down my winding path of academia, I’ve taken a giant step backward to go forward, recently earning an Associates of Science degree. Yes you read that right, Associates (A.S. as in Absolutely Stable).
To those that know me well, this probably will seem about right. As a teenager and an emerging adult, my desire for independence and drive to do what I wanted often achieved just the opposite effect. This is the same knucklehead who thought for many years that speed limits and other legalities of life were beneath him, mere guidelines and boundaries to be pushed and tested, and then retested and tested again. I remember rushing to put in an application to the University of Northern Colorado many moons ago not really because it was what I wanted, but because it was what I was supposed to do. Doing so provided “freedom” and opportunity to escape from home. I remember standing at a crossroads trying to decide whether to pursue journalism or begin tougher classes with ambitions to be a doctor. By the end of the semester I was on the verge of failing out and floundering financially. The only option was to run back home to safety and security to reboot. I wasn’t ready for college at that moment. I wasn’t ready or mature enough to make decisions about my future or what I really wanted to do with life at the ripe age of eighteen. Just as I later didn’t understand the full consequences of taking tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, or that doing so was an investment into my future. To me it was free money to a kid who barely wanted to pay parking tickets. Growing up I was never too keen to learn life lessons from others. I hardly sought out adequate council regarding how to live or what to study from those the more wise at a time when it was probably most crucial to do so. Unfortunately a policy of that manner leads to many lessons learned in the school of hard knocks. Fortunately, when I was twenty-three I met a girl and started what has been an amazing shift of my paradigm and ideas about what is really important in life. I began to see my future and long term self as more valuable than what I was doing for fun in the short term. It was not too long after meeting her that I decided to add a second degree in anthropology as an area of focus and as an escape plan from a journalism major I should have ditched long before. Ultimately meeting that girl was a catalyst event that interceded between that wild ginger I was and my current self. This event sent the dominoes of my life rolling east to the Windy City. It’s funny looking back because I don’t feel like I gave such a dramatic move as much consideration as I probably should have. I’m sure some friends and maybe even some family thought I was crazy to uproot and move across the country for a young love, but I think in that moment, deep down I must have known it was the correct course for my life because the choice was easy or maybe just fool hearted. Either way it has hands down been one of the best experiences and decisions of my life. Moving to Chicago was a bold move for me with high stakes that forced my hand into a position of sink or swim. Out here I am isolated from family and any network of support. What I have realized though, is I thrive in an environment of sink or swim. I want the onus of my success in life to be squarely on my ability to dream and achieve. It is that same independence and desire for self-pursuit once channeled into superfluous and laggardly activities that has been refined over the past five years and rechanneled into production, focus, drive, and success. The Second City has held more unexpected second chances and course corrections than I had any way of knowing would come. The experience has provided a strong second wind at my back. Degrees are meant to be stepping-stones to something more; they hold a promise of a brighter tomorrow. I can’t be upset that my first two degrees were duds. They were stones set in a murky foundation. They were stones laid haphazardly on a wandering course with limited vision of the road for success that would be needed to forge a path ahead. And while the seeds of those degrees did not ultimately grow into a career, they also aren’t worthless because they were needed to punch my ticket to Chicago, and provided a sound set of skills and additional knowledge and understanding of the world. It was a little over a year ago that I burst forth from a decade of intellectual wandering and bushwhacked my way back to my correct course for life. It’s funny to me that things with my career pursuits have come full circle in so many ways. I am once again on track to pursue a career in healthcare, and even have plans to return to the University of Northern Colorado in the summer of 2016 to earn a Bachelors of Science in Nursing. I am once again on track to maximize my potential and I know there will be no failure. Had I tried to chart this course at University of Northern Colorado initially or University of Colorado – Boulder later on, I would have crashed and burned. I didn’t have the focus or the desire to commit myself to hard studies and the hard work that is needed to be successful in life. I had no vision of where I wanted to head or what I even wanted out of life. Today, I have a long-term plan covering many areas. I know where I want to be at the end of this year. I know where I want to be professionally in three years, five years, and ten years. Looking back, it seems so silly that I would try and choose a major in college and pick a direction for my life when I was incapable of deciding what to do for fun in the upcoming weekend, much less crafting the vision and gameplan needed for achievement and long term success. More importantly than knowing where I want to head, I know how I am going to get there and what effort and focus is needed to accomplish those goals. Some people may think its crazy to basically redo college, but I have to redo college. While I did great having fun in college and even learned a lot, I wasn’t utilizing that time to better myself and move myself forward in the long run. I could be successful and forge a career as I was doing in the corporate world here in Chicago, but deep down I would always know I sold myself short and laid up in school and my career. I don’t think that is a recipe for happiness or self-actualization. Instead I am choosing to shoot for the green, even if there may be large water hazards and bunkers in front. I know the next few years are going to be challenging. I know figuring out how to pay for nursing school is not going to be easy. But I know I am on the correct path and will find a way to make it work. While some people believe in coincidence, I no longer can. I believe wholeheartedly the steps to retargeting nursing and healthcare as my calling were laid 5 1/2 years ago when I first met that girl, who ironically I met while living wild and crazily at a music festival, so maybe the path started earlier than I can even know. Perhaps it was supposed to be when the thoughts of being a doctor first crossed my mind so many years ago but I lost my footing because I wasn't ready. Either way those events opened the doors to Chicago, which opened doors leaving me wanting more out of life, which opened doors to return to school, which opened doors to come back to where I started and realize healthcare and helping others is my true calling. Many things in my life have changed since moving to the big city. It has pushed me to grow in so many ways and been one of the most valuable opportunities of my life. I feel more on top of everything and guided by true intent and purpose. Today I stand stable on the polished stone of my Associates of Science degree and eagerly wait for what is coming next.
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Alexander McNaChronicles of my journey into the nursing profession. Archives
September 2018
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